I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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