can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
