So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
