We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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