There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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