i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize