You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
