Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
