On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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