Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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