he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
