As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
