Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
