hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
