My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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