hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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