Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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