Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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