Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
