My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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