id be glad to
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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