He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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