I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
