Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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