we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
