Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize