And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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