my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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