I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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