Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
