I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
