tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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