She's JV to your varsity
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
