I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
