Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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