I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize