I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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