Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
