So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
