i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
