Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
