Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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