we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We named our party play list daddy issues
I need to stop coming to work sober
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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