I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
