You just made me feel so damn special
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
