Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
