her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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