i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
