his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there was a trapeze. enough said
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
