I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
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I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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