im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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