wat bout pragnant strippers??
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
