ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
