And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
