I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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