Buhtt sex?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
