Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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